and you said cock pushups were impossible
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
