playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
