did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
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