In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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