How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
