Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I just had sex on a roof
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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