I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
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