did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
