she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
