She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
