Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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