bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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