to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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