look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
