I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
