CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
