Fine. I'll sleep in my office
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
