im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
