i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
