Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
