I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
