break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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