its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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