i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
