either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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