its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
