god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
