I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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