standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
