Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize
