oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
Randomize
