you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
