I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
