..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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