I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
