i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
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