In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
My feet surprised me
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