But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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