What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Randomize
