well most of my day revolves around power hour
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
