my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
