Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize