the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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