I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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