i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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