But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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