i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
