boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
