I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
