I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
