the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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