So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Randomize
